


There For You

by Unironicdokis



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Friends (TV) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Friends AU, Gen, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Lafayette, Nonbinary Peggy, Other, Trans Burr, Trans Characters, at least not yet, no established relationships, who yet? We'll have to wait and see!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-15 07:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5776480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unironicdokis/pseuds/Unironicdokis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with Theodosia Bartow barging through the entrance to Central Perk, a little flustered, a little red in the face, and still fully gowned in her wedding dress.</p><p>The Friends AU nobody asked for. Loosely based on the tv show of the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) sorry lin
> 
> 2) Just based on this first chapter, it probably seems like Burr is going to be the main lead; however, its definitely going to be more of an ensemble piece so this will differ from chapter to chapter as the focus shifts from different storylines and such. which brings me to my next point:
> 
> 3) For all you Theodosia/Burr fans, sorry, as this goes forwards its probably going to be less them-centric, although there will definitely be parts of the story dedicated to their relationship. For people who got here based on the other ship tags. I'm sorry, they will get more focus once I update with more chapters.

It all starts with Theodosia Bartow barging through the entrance to Central Perk, a little flustered, a little red in the face, and still fully gowned in her wedding dress.

Actually, to rewind quite a bit, technically it all starts with a young Alexander Hamilton moving to New York City—his attitude scrappy but eyes still bright and optimistic. It starts with Alexander Hamilton because he's not been in the Big Apple long before he meets Aaron Burr, greeting him with an excited, "Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, Sir?" Before Burr even has time to breath, Alex is there, a part of his life like an itch he can't get rid of, and with him along saunter John Laurens, Marquis de Lafayette, and Hercules Mulligan in tow. Before Hamilton? They're familiar faces, sure, acquaintances even—from college, from New York, or just from around. However, eventually there arrives day where Burr has to resign himself to the fact that, yes, they are indeed his friends.

Resignation and irritation eventually turn to fondness. Even if it takes a while.

He never grows quite accustomed to Hamilton's loud mouth, though.

It's a good thing they're no longer roommates. Alex seems to be a lot happier rooming with John, and Burr is pretty glad to be on his own again because he was getting tired of telling Alex to get off their kitchen table.

Meanwhile, Alex and John have certainly gotten closer since moving in together. They'd always been rather intimate, but...

Aaron's not quite sure what their situation is—actually, he's still a little mystified at the entire group situation. Not the living situation because that's fairly straightforward: Alex and John live together apartment, Lafayette lives down the hall, Hercules doesn't live with Lafayette but stays there so often he might as well (no one actually knows where Herc lives except maybe Laf, and if they know for whatever reason they won't say). And Burr lives down the street.

No, the living situation was fairly straightforward, it was the dating situation that was the trouble. Alex was either dating John or Laf or maybe both, but there was also Lafayette's crush on the guy who runs the coffee shop—an older guy named Washington with a stern voice who glares at them whenever they get a little too rowdy— but then again Laf flirts with everyone, not to mention they and Hercules always did seem suspiciously close as well, and he was always spending the night at Laf's... Well, frankly, it's none of his business anyways. Not that his own desire for privacy prevents the others from inserting themselves into his love life, or perhaps lack of one.

Alex sometimes jokingly refers to him as the Token Straight. Which Aaron feels is... pretty presumptuous, but he doesn't say anything.

Considering his track record with attracting interesting characters, Burr should've probably been less surprised when the Schuyler Sisters drop back into his life not long after Alex and Company, but even he sometimes underestimates his own ability to stay perpetually out of the loop.

Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy are all beautiful, intelligent, and unique in their own right. In fact, Burr now knows from that to describe them at once without differentiation is practically a sin, but being late to realize that just might be why the first time they meet since... well, since high school, he gets rejected flat. Mostly by Angelica, but by the other two as well. But mostly Angelica. The other reason might be that he said they lack ideals. So yeah, he figures being rejected is fair enough.

It kind of does sting, however, when the girls take to Alex right away.

Once the Schuyler sisters move in, that brings apartment number from three to five, with Alex and John staying together in their small, crappy apartment; Laf down the hall in their slightly less crappy apartment, Angie and Eliza directly across the hall in their legitimately nice apartment, Peggy by herself a couple blocks over... and Burr still lives down the street.

The dating situation doesn't clear itself up much. If anything, it just gets more convoluted than ever.

It must have been too much to ask for a little tranquility because just when he was starting to get comfortable, Laf's friend moves back from France, and it's like having to start from scratch all over again.

His name is Thomas Jefferson, and he's an Asshole with a capital "A". As it turns out, unlike Lafayette, Thomas is not French; in fact, he won't say what he is besides "Virginian". Now, however, rather than living in France or Virginia, he lives in the complex right next door, giving Angelica and Eliza front row seats to whatever the hell goes on in his apartment because Thomas _never_ closes the curtains even when he probably should.

Of course, with the addition of Thomas Jefferson there's also his friend, the quiet one who when not seen in the company of Thomas, seems to mostly keep to himself. Aaron finds out shortly that his name is James Madison and like Thomas, he's from Virginia. He shares the apartment across the way with his friend, but thankfully unlike Thomas, he actually remembers to close the drapes. James doesn't seem to talk much. Burr is fine with this.

Alex doesn't seem to like either of them very much, and honestly, Aaron can't really blame him—at least as far as Thomas is concerned. Alex doesn't pull his punches when speaking about his disdain for Thomas, saying things Burr wouldn't care to repeat. Well, not to his face.

Thomas doesn't seem to very keen on Alexander either, so at least the feelings are mutual. In fact, Thomas doesn’t get along too well with anyone he didn’t seem to explicitly drag himself from his home state of Virginia—except maybe Angie and Lafayette, and neither of them will disclose any details on how they became acquainted beyond simply “we met in France.” When Burr asks Lafayette, they respond in this way as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world. When Burr questions Angie, she replies curtly and, when she’s prodded further she gives him a look that have made braver men than himself quail.

With the addition of Thomas and James, the apartment tally jumps from five to six, and that’s the last of it. Burr can say that his life is busy. He's got his friends and work (as a lawyer at a firm, Alex works right next door), and he's fulfilled enough that he can truthfully say that he spends most of his time happy, and when he’s not happy, he’s distracted enough to not be sad.

Which is why it's such a shock when Theodosia Bartow waltzes back into his life—looking frazzled but still as beautiful as he remembers—all the embarrassing memories of a high school crush that until now was long forgotten flooding back to him in dregs, making the heat rise in his face and he grips his umbrella tightly as Peggy—the only person besides Aaron to recognize her, gets up and taps her on the shoulder.

Theodosia jumps back in surprise upon seeing Peggy, but then enthusiastically pulls her into a close hug that—judging by the look on Peggy’s face—she was not expecting. “Oh, Margarita! Margarita, thank god you’re here!”

“Actually, I’m just Peggy now.”

“Of course! I’m so sorry. I just went to your building, but you weren’t home! And this guy with a big hammer said you might be here, and you are! You are here!”

“It’s great to see you, too, Theo, but what are you doing here?”

Before she can respond, Angelica coughs, clearing her throat and giving Peggy a pointed look.

“Right!” Peggy turns back to their group sitting around the coffee table in the cage. "Everybody, this is Theodosia Bartow, we went to high school together.” Theodosia waved nervously. "Theo, these are my friends. This is Alex, John, Hercules, and Lafayette.—“ she points to each person as she lists off everyone’s name. There’s a large number of waves, nods, and quiet “hi”s in response. “This is Thomas and James.” More waves. James coughs behind his hand. "And you probably remember my sisters, Angelica and Eliza.”

“Sure! Sure, it’s so nice to see you guys again.”

“And this is Aaron Burr. You remember Aaron from school, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Theo smiles hugely and Aaron steps forward to shake her hand, forgetting about the umbrella he’s holding, and consequently it pops open and hits her dress, forcing a gap between them as she steps back.

Theodosia laughs, shaking her head slightly. "Still the same as I remember."

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Alex trying to stifle a laugh. Aaron quickly stuffs the umbrella away and sits down before he can embarrass himself further.

Peggy pulls up a seat for Theo at their usual coffee table as her coffee arrives. She takes a few sips in silence while everyone else crowds around her, waiting expectantly for an explanation for why she’s here.

Realizing that all eyes are on her, Theodosia finally puts down her coffee, takes a deep breath, and begins her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is aceluz. Please feel free to send me message if you have any ideas, feedback, any friends storylines you want to see me tackle, etc. Should this follow the plot of the show or should it be more loose in its interpretation? I'm totally open to ideas!
> 
> quick clarification: nobody is actually together at the beginning of this either... It's just Burr being obtuse and not understanding Youth Culture™. Also, I just realized it might be a little unclear, but Burr went to the same high school as the Schuyler Sisters, he was a few years below Theodosia (who is closer to Peggy's age in this), so he's actually younger than the sisters.
> 
> Also, I'm going to try to keep this original, but the occasional line here or there will be ripped verbatim from the tv show. Sometimes you can't mess with perfection.


	2. The One Where Peggy Gets a Roommate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I practically never write this fast! Thank you guys so much for your support and feedback, I didn't expect to get much of a response to this so it means a lot! I really like Theodosia, but I don’t really know what she was like as a person, so her character is pretty much just my interpretation with a little bit of Rachel.
> 
> Also sorry, no “how i got here” story. I didn't really know how to make it funny w/out copying it verbatim from the show... Anyways, call this chapter Alexander “Does Anybody Wanna Hear My Tragic Backstory” Hamilton.

“I’m sorry, Daddy, I just can’t marry him. I don’t love him. . . Well it matters to me!"

Everyone ends up gathered in the living room of Angelica and Eliza’s apartment, eyes glued to the tv as they blast the volume on some cheesy Spanish telenovela nobody even understands, everyone trying hard not to listen to the argument Theodosia’s having over the phone.

“Daddy, it’s my life!” Theodosia says, and she practically shouting now. Eliza and Angelica look at each other, realizing it's becoming impossible to drown out her voice with the television. So much for privacy.

“Should we do something?” Eliza mouths silently to Peggy, and Peggy shrugs in response. Eliza rolls her eyes and turns off the tv, waving off the few indignant protestations as she turns around on her spot on the couch to look back at Theo with a worried expression. Everyone else turns around to watch her, too.

“Well, maybe I’ll just stay here with Peggy!”

Everyone turns back to look at Peggy, who's sitting by herself in the armchair and upon realizing everyone’s eyes are on her, she smiles wryly and seems to shrink under everyone’s gaze. “Well, I guess we’ve established she’s staying here with Peggy,” she jokes, trying to diffuse the tension.

“I’m sorry, but that’s my decision. Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait!” Theodosia shrieks as the phone goes dead, presumably hung up on. “Arghhhhh. What am I going to do?” she wails, returning the landline to its machine and making her way over to the couch so that she can flop herself down and mope.

“Besides staying here with Peggy?” prompts Lafayette, and Peggy glares at him momentarily before moving over to Theo, sitting beside her on the couch and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Theo, we’ll figure something out.”

“Yeah!” says John. “And we’re all here for you if you need us.”

Everyone nods, clamoring in agreement.

“I’ve never been on my own before! I don’t even know where to start!” Theo buries her head in her hands, clearly on the verge of tears.

At seeing her so distraught, Lafayette moves closer to her, allowing her to rest her head upon their shoulders as they hold her. “Ssshhhhhh,” they say, hushing her softly in an attempt to comfort her.

“Well, there are these things called ‘jobs’ that tend to be good place to start—” Thomas begins, voice dripping with sarcasm. Lafayette glares at him, but he doesn’t even get to continue before Alexander cuts him off.

“Give her a break! It’s hard being on your own for the first time.”

Theo looks up from her hands, her eyes still wet. “Thank you, Alex,” she says, sounding surprised by his support, and she smiles gratefully at him.

“You’re welcome. I remember when I came to this city for the first time. I was 19. My dad had left us and my mom had just died. I didn’t know anybody, so I stayed with my cousin, but then he killed himself, but then I found Aaron and so here I am! And—“ Alex says, on a roll with no apparent qualms about stopping until he is cut off by Aaron.

“Alexander,” inflects Burr, his tone sharp.

“What?”

Aaron gives him a look. “Talk less,” he says through a forced smile, and that finally shuts Alex up.

Seeing the horrified and bewildered look in her eyes at Alex’s life story, Aaron gives Theo a small reassuring smile.

Eliza rolls her eyes. “Anyways…”

“Yes, anyways…” begins Peggy before her phone goes off. She pulls it out of her pocket, staring at the screen. “Shit!”

“What is it?” asks John.

“Theo, I’m so, so sorry. With all the craziness that’s been going on I completely forgot that I had plans!” She stands up, grabbing her bag from the table beside the couch and pulling out a tiny mirror, examining her reflection. Frowning, she tries to touch up her make-up and runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame a few stray fly-aways before giving up completely. She stuffs the mirror back into her purse and takes off her glasses, tucking those away as well as she stands up, pausing momentarily to brush off her skirt before heading for the door.

Theodosia watches Peggy with wide eyes, and upon seeing the state her friend is in, starts to put two and two together. “Oh, it’s ok—“ Theodosia says, but she’s quickly cut off by Thomas.

“She can stay with us while you’re out.”

“ _No_ ,” says Peggy almost immediately, her tone firm as she glares at him, but before she can say anything else Thomas turns to Theodosia.

"Theo,” he practically purrs as he smiles at her, “Don’t be shy, if you need anything, you can always come to Thomas. Like,” says Thomas, pausing momentarily to look up and down with a smirk. “Really. James and I live in the building right next door, and he's away a lot.”

James frowns, but Thomas either doesn’t notice or chooses to ignore him.

Theodosia looks like she’s either about to laugh or puke, and Angelica scoffs. “Thomas, will you please stop hitting on her? It’s her wedding day!”

“Angie, Angie,” says Thomas, clucking his tongue. “I’m just being friendly. I thought you knew me better by now.”

Angie shakes her head. “You have no shame.”

He shrugs.

“Well,” cuts in Eliza, “Don’t worry about it because Theodosia can stay with us while Peggy is out.”

Angelica nods in agreement.

Peggy sighs in relief. “I’ll call later, alright? I don’t know how long I’m gonna be."

“Where are you going, anyways?” John asks Peggy just as she’s about to leave.

She pauses, turning around to face everyone, and they can all see that she’s a little red in the face. “I, uh…” Peggy fidgets where she stands, looking visibly uncomfortable as she wrings her hands and fiddles with her phone. “I'm meeting this girl.” She stands her ground, bracing herself for the response.

“You WHAT???” everyone cries in unison—everyone minus Theo and her two sisters.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Peggy mumbles but they ignore her.

“Peggy’s gonna get some tonight!” says Herc, and everyone else laughs.

“Ugh, gross. Guys stop it."

“You never said anything about a date before!” cries John, sounding somewhere between wounded and ecstatic if it were possible, and he actually leaps from the couch and runs over to the spot where she’s standing by the door so he can grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shake.

“And this is exactly why! And it’s not a date! It’s just two people going to dinner and not having sex,” she finishes pointedly, glaring at Herc.

“Sounds like to a date to me,” someone says quietly, and to everyone’s surprise it’s James. Thomas hides his laugh behind his hand.

John ignores them. “Who is she?” he prompts her, eyes wide.

“She’s no one.”

“Tell meeeee,” he whines, but Peggy just shakes her head stubbornly.

A chorus of "Yeah, tell us!" and "Come on, Peggy!" echo John from where everyone else is sitting in the living room.

Peggy laughs. "I'll tell you later, I promise."

John pouts, but she just shakes her head, smiling.

"I have to go, I'll see you later." Peggy opens the door to leave before pausing once more to turn back. "Theo, you sure you'll be alright while I'm gone? Do you want me to stay?"

Theodosia nods, sniffling a little and hanging her head. "That would be good."

“What, really?” asks Peggy, completely disarmed.

Theodosia laughs, startling everyone, especially poor Lafayette sitting right beside her and incidentally had seemed to have forgotten that they were still holding her. "No, I'm just kidding! Go on ahead.”

Aaron chuckles quietly.

“You sure?”

Theodosia nods, beaming at her.

John laughs, clapping Peggy on the back. “Just go already! Look at her, she’s practically one of us already."

Peggy sighs. "Thank you so much, Theo. You're the best. As for the rest of you guys..." She does this gesture with her fists that leaves Theo perplexed, and even more confused when several of them mimic the gesture right back to her.

Peggy gives Theo one last appreciative look from where she stands in the doorway before she finally leaves, closing the door behind her.

As soon as she’s left, John’s whole attitude shifts. “Alright, she’s gone. Guys, we gotta find out what she hiding from us.” He hurries back into the living room and sits down on the floor beside the couch.

“Um. Isn’t that a little invasive?” asks Theo.

“Well, yes, but if she won’t tell us herself then we’ll just have to find out through other means,” Laf explains to her matter of factly, having shifted from doting to scheming just like the rest in an instant.

“Well, maybe she has a reason for keeping this a secret.”

“Hey, there are no secrets between friends,” says Herc, pointing a finger at her.

“Nothing on any of her social media accounts,” says John sullenly as he scrolls through his phone. “Alex, she tells you everything, you sure she’s never mentioned anything about this?”

Alexander shakes his head.

“Damn,” mutters John.

Aaron grimaces, folding his arms tightly to his chest and looking away. “You guys know I hate it when you do this.”

“Burrrrr,” Lafayette drawls. “Quit being a, how you say, buzzkill."

“Eliza, you’ve been awfully quiet this whole time,” says Alex, scrutinizing her with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah.” John moves so that he’s sitting on the arm of the couch right next to Eliza, folding his arms and staring down at her. “So who’s this mystery woman?”

“Don’t look at me, I don’t know! Besides, how come you’re all ganging up on me? Angie hasn’t said anything either!”

“Traitor,” mutters Angelica under her breath, but Eliza smirks, succeeding in directing everyone’s attention away from her and onto her older sister. “Sorry guys, I don’t know anything.” At seeing their dubious expressions she continues. "And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you anyways. Peggy is family; what she chooses to tell me is between me and her.”

The guys boo her, but she waves them off dismissively.

“Eliza?” asks Alex, turning to her when Angelica refuses to give them what they want.

She shakes her head. “Sorry guys, I’m with Ange on this one.”

Alex—who is sitting on the floor right next to Eliza’s spot on the couch— rolls his eyes and grabs one of the pillows, hitting Eliza over the head with it. She shrieks with laughter, grabbing the pillow beside her and hitting him with it in retaliation. They continue like this until she and him dissolve into a fit of childish giggles.

“Ugh, get a room you two,” says Herc, rolling his eyes.

Alex gives him the finger. Hercules grabs him, pinning him in a headlock. “Say you’re sorry.” Alex struggles against Herc’s grip, his face beginning to turn red, but doesn’t respond. “Say ‘uncle.’ Say it.”

“This isn’t fair, you’re stronger than me.”

“Seems pretty fair from where I’m standing.”

“If this were foosball I’d whip your ass.”

“Oh, I will take that challenge!” says Herc as he barks out a laugh, taking the bait and finally letting go of Alex.

“Loser buys drinks.”

“Your ass is grass, Hamilton!”

Before he can reply, Alexander races out of the apartment, Mulligan right on his heels, and John laughs, following them at his own leisurely pace.

Lafayette sighs, turning to smile warmly at Theodosia. “Well, this has been fun. I guess I’d better make sure they don’t break anything.” They stand up, leaning down to kiss Theo on the cheek. “It was nice to meet you, mon cher.” And with one last wink, Lafayette follows their friends out of Eliza's and Angelica’s apartment.

Thomas looks around. "Wanna watch Hamilton lose at foosball?" He asks, turning to James with a shrug.

"Are you kidding? Absolutely."

Thomas stands up. "Ladies," he says, nodding to the girls. "Burr." Aaron gives a fraction of a nod in response. With a final smirk at James, Thomas hightails out of the room, his friend following suit.

For a moment, there’s nothing but awkward silence in the room. They can hear loud yelling from outside.

Aaron stands up from his seat in the living room. “Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave.”

“No, of course not!” protests Eliza, but Aaron just shakes his head, putting up a hand and smiling.

“Thanks Eliza, but I’m just going next door. I mean, do you really think Laf is responsible enough to keep those fools in line? Knowing them, they're just gonna get dragged into the mess right alongside everyone else.”

She just nods understandingly. With a winning smile towards the present company, Aaron walks out the room, but he’s not gone for five seconds before he pokes his head back through the doorway, clearing his throat and addressing Theodosia--to Angie and Eliza’s surprise.

“You can come, too, if you want,” he offers to her with small smile. “John and Alex live literally right across the hall. They can be pretty loud sometimes, but Alex cries when he looses, and it’s pretty fun to watch.” Maybe it’s just Theodosia reading too much into things, but he looks almost hopeful.

“Um…” Theo bites her lip. “Thanks, Aaron, but I’m ok.”

“You sure?”

She nods. “Sounds great, but I’ve had a pretty long day, so I think I’ll just stay here.”

“Right,” he says with a nervous-sounding laugh as he rubs at the back of his neck with is hand, probably remembering the sequence of events that led her to them in the first place. Was she just imagining the disappointment she was detecting in his voice? “Well… I’ll see you around.”

“Definitely.”

She smiles, and Aaron just stands there momentarily as he stares at her, seeming to have completely forgotten that Eliza and Angelica are present. For a brief moment it looks like he might be about to say one more thing before he closes his mouth, turns, and leaves the apartment—for real this time.

“Well that was interesting,” says Eliza, finally speaking up again.

“I’ll say,” says Theo with a satisfied smirk. Eliza raises an eyebrow.

“God damnit,” mutters a distracted Angie under her breath.

“What is it?”

Angelica picks up something off the floor. “He forgot another goddamn umbrella. Eliza,” she says, handing it to her sister. “Put it with the others. We’ll have to give it—and the others—back to him next time he’s over. Unless he forgets again.”

Theodosia giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't Burr such a romantic. I swear I'll tone down the umbrella jokes in the future. Also, can you guess who Peggy's secret girlfriend is?
> 
> Just a reminder, my tumblr is aceluz, you can totally message me about any ideas or feedback you have!
> 
> EDIT: yikes! I didn't realize this had so many mistakes. I went through and corrected what I saw, hopefully I caught them all. Also going through again I just realized that Thomas & James were still in the room at the end oops! So I fixed that too.
> 
> Also: either the next chapter or another chapter in the near future will probably involve a lot of Girl Bonding along the same vein of The One with George Stephanopoulos, so who should our "George Stephanopoulos" be? Because if I can't make a decision it's just going to be Thomas, and we don't want that do we?


	3. The One with John André

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone suggested John André as George Stephanopoulos and honestly thank god. I was conflicted over whether to make him GS or Jill Goodacre in a future chapter, but my mind is made up. Somehow this one ended up way longer than the first two chapters. I have no idea how. Anyways, everyone who's sent me feedback: thank you so much! I thrive off your comments.

Surprising to no one, they start their day off in their coffee shop, just like how they start off most days. They’re sitting in chairs around their usual table— it being the only area with enough seats to accommodate them anyways. John, Herc, and Laf already are at work, and coincidentally so is Theo—at her new job as a waitress at Central Perk—but she seems more preocuppied with listening in on her friends’ conversation rather than paying any attention to the customers. Tired of sitting there in near silence, they decide to play a game: “What would you do if you were omnipotent for a day.”

Not exactly one of their more interesting choices, but it’s a way to kill time. Anything to keep Alex and Thomas from being at each other’s throats when they’re together.

“Ok… if I were omnipotent for a day, I’d want…” Eliza—who is sitting on the floor beside the coffee table and the armchair Burr is seated in—furrows her brow, and folds her hands over her knee, thinking for a moment in silence. “World peace, no more hunger, good things for the rainforest… and unlimited tickets for anything that Jonathon Groff is in.”

“Aw, Eliza, you took mine,” says Alex. He smiles playfully, and she laughs.

“Ok, Aaron, it’s your turn,” says Eliza.

Theodosia—dressed in her work uniform and apron and dark curly hair pulled back in an unruly bun—walks over to refill their mugs, but pauses waiting expectantly along with everyone else for his answer. It’s not uncommon for her to drop in on their conversations while she’s supposed to be working.

Aaron—who looks more invested in whatever he’s reading rather than paying any attention to their conversation— looks up from his paper momentarily to glance at her before returning to it. More often than not, he choses to pass whenever they try to drag him into their games—something he doesn’t appreciate—but this time he actually answers. “If I were omnipotent for a day… I’d make myself omnipotent forever.”

Eliza pouts at the same time Alexander rolls his eyes and scoffs.

Neither of them should be all that surprised by Burr’s response considering he’s said similar things before (“if I had one wish, I’d wish for three more wishes.”). Still, that doesn’t prevent them from being thoroughly unimpressed.

“What?” he asks, tearing his eyes away from his paper again to look at Eliza.

“That’s boring!”

“But that’s what I pick,” he responds stubbornly.

“The goal of the game is not to pick the most realistic answer, it’s just to pick something fun that you want,” says Alex.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be fun!” adds Eliza.

Of course, Thomas being himself, can’t hold back from a scathing comment if it gives him any sort of satisfaction . “Oh, sure thing, Miss ‘Save the Rainforest’,” he quips from his seat besides James on the couch.

Eliza blushes but stays silent, apparently too embarrassed to respond.

“Ignore them, Eliza,” says Theo with a smile, and she nudges Eliza playfully on the shoulder with her fist. “I liked your answer,” she says, seeming to have forgotten that she’s not supposed to be there at all but instead be working. "Anyways, it’s not Aaron’s fault he’s a stick in the mud who hates fun,” she adds with a smirk.

“I do not hate fun.”

Angie speaks up. “Well, I mean, think about it, Aaron. Even the girl who said she’d save the rainforest thought your answer was boring."

Aaron quirks one eyebrow, eyes on Theodosia as he leans forward because oh, _it is on_ as he finally sets his paper down on the table claps his hands together. “Fine.”

Everyone leans in expectantly. Theodosia rests one hand on her hip, coffee jug in the other hand as she waits, still looking at him expectantly with that satisfied smirk.

"If I were omnipotent for a day, I would… Make myself the president.”

Just then, Washington calls out to Theodosia. “Miss Bartow! I hope you’re not socializing with your friends over there!” 

Theodosia sighs. “‘Course not!” she replies back loudly, turning back to him with a plastered smile. She turns back towards the group. “Sorry, I have to work. But wasn’t that fun, Aaron? I feel like I know you better already.”

He rolls his eyes and she laughs.

"I gotta admit you aim high, Burr, and I respect that.” With a flirtatious smile and a wave she walks away, heels clacking against the floor as she goes back over to the counter to talk to her boss.

Aaron pretends to be preoccupied with his coffee mug sitting on the table in front of him, but out of the corner of his eye he watches her leave.

Once she’s gone, Alex whistles under his breath, giving Aaron a look.

“What?” asks Burr.

“Nothing.” Alex looks away, avoiding Aaron’s gaze as if to suggest that he’s been doing nothing but minding his own business this whole time, the picture of innocence.

“We see what’s going on,” says Angelica before taking a long sip of her tea.

He shakes his head, snatching his newspaper from the table and opening it up again. “It’s nothing,” he mutters, not looking at any of them. He tries hard to focus on the words, to distract himself.

“Sure,” says Angie, drawing out the word and giving Aaron her iconic “Don’t Bullshit Me” face, which at this point has become almost as infamous as her “You Better Start Running Before I Kick Your Ass” face.

“So president, huh?” asks Alex.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing,” says Burr, who by this time had read the same passage over three times but still did not look up from his paper.

Which is probably true, but for once Alex holds his tongue.

Thomas shrugs. “Sure, but it’s omnipotency. I mean, why stop yourself there?”

“What do you mean?” asks Alex.

“Hamilton, what sort of visionary are you? Think bigger!"

“Like what? You want me to say I’d make myself supreme ruler of the universe or something?”

"Oh, careful what you say Alex, or Thomas here will make you out to be an evil monarchist or something," says Angelica teasingly.

Thomas clutches a hand to his heart. "Oh, you wound me, Angie.”

She chuckles, taking another sip of her tea.

James—who this whole time time had been completely silent—finally speaks up. "Everyone here knows it's true, Thomas,” he says through a sigh—as if he’s finally lost his patience with his friend—not even bothering to look up from the book he's reading.

“What? That I wouldn’t trust Alexander in a position of authority, which by the way is _perfectly_ reasonable considering how brash he is.”

James glances up at him for just a second before returning to his book. “No, that you think he’s an evil monarchist."

To everyone’s surprise, Thomas doesn’t get angry or upset, but instead, he laughs, rather hard actually, and James’ mouth twitches upwards in a small smile.

Just then Peggy walks in, looking like hell in sweatpants and dark circles under her eyes as she grumpily tells Thomas to budge up on the couch through a yawn. She looks absolutely ready to crash and she practically falls onto the couch with a thump, the cushions too firm to possibly be comfortable but also looking like she couldn't possibly care less as she begins to doze off.

“Holy shit, are you alright?” asks Angie with all the predictable concern of an older sister.

“Yeah,” mumbles Peggy, eyes still closed. “There’s construction going on right outside my building. It’s been keeping me up all night. I don’t know how Theo does it. Every morning she’s completely fine!”

“Do what?” asks Theo, who had just returned to where her friends were sitting—presumably regardless of her boss’s feelings on the matter.

“I thought you were supposed to be working,” says Eliza.

“I am,” says Theo. She puts on her best service smile, addressing Peggy, “Welcome to Central Perk, anything I can get for you, miss?”

“Just a coffee, black,” says Peggy. “And I was just telling everyone that I can’t understand how you can look so perfect and well-rested every morning with all that construction noise. I think it must be some sort of witchcraft."

“I’ll never tell,” says Theodosia. She winks, then suddenly switches gears back into service mode. “Thank you, miss, we’ll have your coffee right away.”

“Hey!” says Eliza. “Peggy, Why don’t you stay with us for the night? Theo, you can come, too. Angie?”

“Sure, the guys have their game tonight, and it’s been a while since we’ve had a girls' night.”

“Peggy, Theo, what do you say?”

Peggy just nods, eyes still closed as she leans back into the couch, and Theo answers for both of them. “We’d love to.”

“Great! Oh, this is is exciting!"

Theo smiles—A real smile this time, not a service smile—before realizing something. “Oh, right. Before I leave, anything else I can get you?”

Peggy shakes her head, but Thomas pipes up. “Actually, there was this sort of muffin crumb thing that I forgot the name of—“

He trails off at seeing the withering look Theo is giving him.

“Never mind, I’m good.”

“Great!” says Theo with an chipper smile, then walks away.

“Is anyone else unnerved by the way she does that?” asks Thomas.

Behind his newspaper, Aaron smirks.  
\- - 

Theodosia doesn’t remember the last time she’s been to a sleepover, and she' not exactly in the best mood when she arrives at Eliza and Angelica’s apartment later that day. Sure there’s drinks, and twister set up in the corner, and a bowl of snacks on the table, and a game of operation with a missing pair of tweezers, but she’s just been feeling so… lost. So stagnant.

Her life seemed so together just a month ago. Now she’s serving coffee to strangers who refer to her as “Excuse Me?”.

Peggy’s already there, dressed a striped onesie and her usual glasses, drink in hand and smile on her face as she greets Theo enthusiastically at the door (she’s cheered up considerably since this morning), but Theo just shrugs past her to sit herself down on the sofa. She feels horrible for brushing off her friend so callously, but Peggy rushes towards her side, determined to lift her spirits. Theo smiles weakly.

Peggy really is a godsend.

It takes her a while to get into the spirit of things. Maybe the other girls can kind of sense that she’s out of it, because they seem a bit down, too—something Theo feels immensely guilty about. She hadn’t meant to bring everyone else down with her. Even when she’s finally starting to have a good time—which can possibly be attributed to the fact that there’s a good deal of rum mixed with god knows what else in her system by this point—it’s like there’s this shroud of fog in her mind that’s keeping her from really immersing herself in the moment.

It doesn’t really go away until their pizza arrives.

Or well… A pizza arrives, but not _their_ pizza.

All five of the girls are sitting lazily in the living room when a knock on the door grabs their attention.

“I’ll get it,” says Peggy. She groans as she picks herself up from the couch, and goes over to answer the door to find a delivery boy, holding a box of pizza standing out in front of him.

“Delivery for J. Andre?” he asks.

“Sorry, no.” Peggy shakes her head.

“Wait, did you say J. Andre?” Eliza sits up abruptly, her interest peaked as she quickly gets up and rushes to Peggy’s side.

Curious as to what’s going on, Theodosia follows her.

Apparently he’s gotten their order mixed up with the one across the street. The delivery boy—now thoroughly embarrassed—apologizes profusely and offers to take the pizza back, and Eliza freaks.

“Are you kidding? We have John Andre’s pizza!” Eliza snatches the box from him and hurriedly puts it down on the counter and runs over to the window.

Theodosia’s never seen this level of enthusiasm in Eliza before. She can barely keep track of what’s going on. Beside her, peggy grabs her wallet from the table to pay the delivery boy, and Theo turns to see that all of a sudden, Eliza is peering through the window in large binoculars.

“Who is John Andre?” Theodosia whispers, leaning in to whisper in Peggy’s ear.

She shrugs. “Just this guy practically everyone’s in love with. Even the guys. Not gonna lie, I’m gayer than a Maypole but I’d probably still turn for him.”

Theo snorts.

“I see him!” cries out Eliza, and Angelica races to her side.

“Oh, let me see!”

Eliza hands over the binoculars to Angie.

“Guys, who the hell are we spying on?” asks Theo again. When nobody answers, she asks again. “Hello?"

Eliza finally answers her. “You know, the white house advisor? The president’s campaign guy? Tall, dark, and handsome?”

That rings a bell. “Oh, I love him!” says Theo, racing towards the window to join them, her previous ennui and sadness gone with this fun new distraction. Peggy follows her, but not before remembering to grab her drink and the bowl of snacks.

Through the window, they can just make out a guy standing beside a box of pizza in the complex across the street. He’s wearing absolutely nothing besides a blue towel wrapped around his waist.

And there appears to be one other person. . . 

“There’s someone else there,” says Angelica. “I think it’s a girl…”

“Bummer,” says Peggy flatly with an unsurprising lack of disappointment, taking another swig of the drink in her hand and stuffs her face full of pretzels.

Theodosia looks over to see Eliza staring down at her phone, thumbs tapping across the screen faster than Theo has ever seen. “Eliza, what are you doing?"

“Nothing!” she squeaks, but she doesn’t even bother to hide or phone or even to stop texting.

“You’re texting Alex, aren’t you?” says Angelica, finally tearing her eyes away from the binoculars so that she can give a her sister a look. 

“Well, when isn’t she?” says Peggy with a snicker. “Hey!” she yelps when Eliza yanks her ponytail, Peggy shoving her back in response.

“Well, I have to tell him! He’s gonna be so jealous, he will flip his shit.” She looks almost giddy at the prospect.

“Well don’t keep it all to yourself!” says Angie. "Call him, I wanna be there when it happens.”

Nobody loves a good old-fashioned Alexander Hamilton Freak Out like Angelica. Except maybe Thomas, but for completely different reasons.

Eliza calls him, and the phone rings for a while before he finally picks up.

“Alex? Hey, hey, slow down! I can’t understand you… No, I swear its true! Next building over, right outside the window… Nope, nothing but a towel... Alex, calm down, you hopeless bisexual.”

“Let me say hi,” says Angelica, making a grab for the phone but Eliza bats her hand away and glares at her older sister.

“What? No, that’s just Angie. Theo and my sisters are here right now. Hang on, I’m gonna put you on speakerphone, so be good.”

Eliza sets the phone down on the table nearby. As soon as she presses the button, the first thing the girls hear is “—WHAT THE _FUCK_ —” blasting Alex’s voice from the phone speaker.

At this, they burst into a fit of giggles.

“Hi, Alex!” says Angie through the laughter.

“Don’t ‘hi’ me, this is bullshit! I miss out on the game, I miss out on John Andre! I’m coming over asap!”

“Alright, we’ll be here,” says Peggy.

Eliza picks up the phone, saying goodbye to him in a sing-song voice and before he can protest, quickly hangs up on him with a satisfied smile.

—

Regardless, Alexander does not show up as soon as possible. In fact, the girls spend 20 minutes by the window before moving things to the terrace. Another 20 minutes go by without him showing up. They continue spying on the man in the building across the way, even after the lights go out in his apartment. At one point, Angelica gets up to grab a snack from the fridge.

“Are the lights still off?” Angelica asks as she climbs back out onto the balcony.

“Yes.”

“Maybe they’re not having sex,” suggests Eliza, always the first to give the benefit of the doubt.

Angelica rolls her eyes. “Please."

“… What do you think he’s like?” Theodosia asks, a suspicious glint in her eyes as she stirs her drink with her straw and taking another sip. She’s sitting on the ledge, pillow supporting her as leaning against the wall and the fire escape. It’s surprisingly comfortable.

Eliza sighs. “Probably amazing.”

“Generous,” Angelica adds. 

Theo gets another idea. “What do you think the guys are like?” she asks, to no one in particular. It’s as if she’s just throwing the question out there.

“Y-you mean our guys?” asks Eliza, going a little red.

Theo shrugs. “Yeah, I mean, haven’t you ever wondered?”

Peggy rolls her eyes. “I’m too gay for this.”

“I don’t know… I’d feel kinda funny talking about that,” says Eliza.

“Oh, come on,” and to Eliza’s surprise it wasn’t Theo this time but Angie who prompts her.

Eliza shakes her head. “It’s too weird.”

“Why not?” asks Angelica. "Alex isn’t here yet."

“Speaking of Alex…” adds Theo, giving the other girls a look. “Thoughts?"

Peggy appears to be distracting herself with her phone. For a moment, no one says anything, and Theo waits expectantly. Eliza surprises her by being the first one to respond.

“… Shy.”

“Really?” 

Eliza nods, now a brilliant shade of red. “I… think he's shy. But only at first! It’s stupid, I know...”

“No, no, no, I get it,” says Theo. “It’s like when he talks, you know? It’s like a nervous impulse, but once he starts he can just keep going forever.” 

“Exactly!”

“Now, Thomas,” continues Theodosia, “He seems much more like one of those kiddie rides at the super market. You just have to put the quarter in and he just goes.”

Angie laughs, and even Eliza chuckles a little bit.

Peggy mumbles something under her breath.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said you would know, Angie."

Angie smacks Peggy on the shoulder. "Shut up!"

Theo gasps. "Angelica!"

Angelica doesn't answer, just stares at the floor in silence.

Theo stares at her with a huge grin and wide eyes. "No..."

"It was a long time ago, alright?"

Eliza raises her eyebrows, taking a long sip of her drink.

“Well???” asks Theo, leaning forward expectantly when her pillow falls out from behind her, over the balcony ledge and down, down, down. “Oops.” She shrugs it off.

“I… don’t remember,” Angelica answers lamely. “It was so long ago.”

“Hang on,” says Theodosia. “You mean, a 'we were too drunk’ kind of 'i don’t remember’ or a ‘there’s nothing noteworthy to say’ kind of 'I don’t remember’.”

“… The second one.”

To Theo’s surprise Peggy snorts (she had been under the impression that Peggy had not been paying attention) and that opens the floodgates b/c soon everyone is laughing, Theo so hard she’s been brought to tears, and even Angelica is shaking her head and chuckling to herself.

“You know who’s kind of sexy?” asks Eliza when everyone’s finally calmed down.

Angelica’s eye’s go wide. “ _Don’t_ ,” she says, her tone warning, but it’s too late.

“Aaron.”

“Really, Eliza?”

“No, I know exactly what you mean,” says Theo, “He can be really smooth."

Angelica rolls her eyes. “Didn't he hit you with an umbrella first day you came here? Also ‘I’m a trust fund baby, you can trust me?’”

Theo gaped at her. “He did _not_ say that to you.”

Angelica nods, pursed lips a thin line.

Theo giggles. “I mean, can’t you just picture him in bed?”

“I really don’t want to,” says Peggy.

They’re still laughing when they hear a knock on the door.

“It’s open!” yells Angelica, way too loud for this hour but all to be expected with the amount of alcohol they’ve consumed.

Alex bursts into the room, rushing to the balcony and climbing through the window. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing,” says Angie.

He hands something to Theodosia. She takes it from him, and to her surprise it's her pillow. "This was at the foot of the building." 

"Oh!" 

“I can’t believe this. Fuck work! Did I miss anything?”

“Not at all,” says Eliza, but Theo can see she’s suppressing a smile.

She has to fight the urge to laugh herself.

By coincidence or luck, that’s when the lights in the apartment across the way finally come back on.

Theodosia smiles to herself as the others watch with anticipation. She doesn’t remember the last time she’s been to a sleepover, but spending the night at Eliza and Angelica’s place is probably the most fun she’s had in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sex headcanons... I'm so sorry Lin. Anyways. Day 3 of Umbrella Jokes feat. Aaron Burr. I'm sorry.
> 
> Do you guys like it when my stuff is dialogue-heavy? I'm pretty self-conscious about that, so some feedback would be nice. 
> 
> Quick note: Peggy is genderfluid in this. She doesn't have a problem with being referred to as a girl while she feel's like one. She also changes pronouns (unlike Laf who is consistently "they/them")
> 
> Also, should there be more of a consistent protagonist or should would it be better to vary it from chapter to chapter? I'm actually having a really good time with Theodosia (and her antics with Aaron), but I think I'm probably gonna go with the latter.


	4. The One's with John's Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not every day you find out your best friend is secretly married. For Alexander Hamilton, that day comes when he’s trying his best not to cry over the fact that a very large pigeon has flown right through the open window and is sitting right in the middle of his kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than the last couple chapters.

It’s not every day you find out your best friend is secretly married. For Alexander Hamilton, that day comes when he’s trying his best not to cry over the fact that a very large pigeon has flown right through the open window and is sitting right in the middle of his kitchen.

He’s in the middle trapping the bird under a cooking pot (and suppressing a scream) when someone knocks of the door.

“It’s open!” he calls, expecting it to be John or Laf or somebody he knows, but instead a lady he’s never seen before—short in stature with brown hair and dark eyes—walks in, looking around anxiously.

“Hello?”

“Can I help you?” asks Alex, trying really hard to ignore the rattling of the pot as he holds the lid down.

“Is John here?”

“No, he’s out right now, but I can get the message to him.”

She sighs in relief. “Great. I’ll be back later, but just tell him that his wife stopped by."

“His _what?”_

Alex feels like the bottom has totally dropped out of his stomach, and he’s so taken aback that he drops the lid, completely forgetting about the pot he’s holding in his hands—which is apparently enough for the bird to take advantageous of the opportunity and fly off as fast as it can. He yelps as it flaps its wings in his face before settling on the couch.

“How did you do that?” asks the lady, eyes wide.

He ignores the question. Actually, he doesn’t so much ignore the question, but rather it fails to register with him at all. He’d take care of the bird later; all he can do is stare at this lady dumbfounded while she fidgets uncomfortably in his doorway.

— - - 

“John, this is unbelievable. How can you be married?” Lafayette asks.

“Yeah, and more importantly, how come you didn’t tell us?” adds Hercules.

Everyone is gathered in Eliza and Angelica’s apartment. John is pacing the kitchen floor anxiously as all eyes are on him—Laf, Herc, and Aaron sitting at the table; Thomas and James leaning against the back of the couch; Eliza and Theo sitting down in the living room, bodies turned around to face the kitchen; Angelica standing by the sink still doing the dishes; Peggy standing a few steps back from a very anxious John.

Alex is standing a few feet behind everybody, arms crossed and his back towards the group of people in the kitchen. He’s avoiding everyone’s gaze, but especially John’s. For once, he’s at a complete loss for words.

“I’m not _married_ married,” says John, still pacing nervously back and forth. He looks over at Alex hopefully, but Alex still has his back towards him. Not getting the response he wants, he continues. “She’s just a friend. She’s British. She just needed a green card, and I’m helping her out, that’s all.”

Alex sighs. “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” he asks, still not turning around but at least speaking up for the first time since he and John have seen each other (since the morning anyways). “I thought we told each other everything.”

“Alex, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid you’d be all judgmental and wouldn’t approve."

“Of course I wouldn’t approve!” Alex whips around to finally face John for the first time, only to glare at him, hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Laf told me all about this Martha girl. He said she was totally in love with you!”

“He’s embellishing,” says Lafayette in explanation to the group, but Alex ignores him.

“I can’t believe you, John. You’re not even straight, plus you and me… me and you… I thought..” For once in his life, Alex is having a hard time vocalizing his thoughts, but he gives up. “I mean, what the hell where you thinking???"

“And you thought he’d be judgmental,” says Aaron, barest trace of a smirk on his lips.

Alex glares at Aaron and rolls his eyes in response. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” he mutters to John under his breath.

“It’s not like you tell me everything,” counters John, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“Oh really? Like what? What could I possibly be hiding from you?"

“Oh, I don’t know, how about the fact that the underwear on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex out on the terrace!” shouts John, pointing to the window, and everyone immediately gets up and rushes over to get a better look outside.

Alex gasps in horror, his face turning a bright shade of red. “Who told you?” Realization hits him, and he glares over at Thomas. “ _You_.”

Thomas bats his eyelids at Alex innocently. “I didn’t know it was a big secret,” he says. “Besides, with that big mouth of yours, you would’ve just ended up telling everybody yourself eventually.”

Well, Alexander decides that two can play at this game.

Alex shrugs. “You’re right,” he says—a little too nonchalantly. “It's not a big secret. I mean it can’t be as bad as, I don’t know, having a third nipple!”

Everyone gasps, crowding around Thomas who is now fuming, but Alex just grins smugly at him, arms crossed .

Thomas backs away, trying to escape the clamors to show it to them. “It’s nothing! There’s nothing to see! It’s just a tiny bump, it’s totally useless.”

“As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples,” says Theodosia with a smirk.

Everyone crowds around Thomas when he notices that James is still standing several yards behind everyone, clearly biting back laughter. “James, quit laughing, help me out," he whines.

He just shakes his head. “I’ve already seen it, this is for you guys to settle.”

“What do you mean you’ve already seen it?” asks Angelica.

“Oh, come on. Of course I’ve seen it. You know he never closes the drapes, imagine what it’s like _living_ with him.”

As everyone crowds around Thomas and bombards him with prodding and one invasive question after another, Alexander Hamilton smiles to himself. He has never seen so many people make such a big deal out of a nipple in his life, but just this once he’s grateful that Thomas Jefferson has stolen his thunder, as long as it detracts attention away from himself.

—

It’s much later in the day when John visits his wife—waiting for her in the dressing room after her performance in the Ice Capades. His eyes dart around the room anxiously, and when Martha enters the room—all decked out in her sparkly costume—she smiles wryly at him before they hug reluctantly, and he hands her a bouquet of flowers before backing off and giving Martha her space.

“You look nice,” she says.

“Can’t a gay guy look nice for his wife?” says John with a shrug and a half-hearted smile. She ignores this. “Listen, is there a reason you stopped by my place earlier?”

“Yeah…” Martha sets aside the flowers, avoiding John’s gaze as she moves to remove her embellished jacket and hang it on the coatrack. John watches, waiting expectantly. “I…” She looks back at him, meeting his eyes again as she hugs her arms close to her chest. “I kind of… need a divorce.”

“Oh.”

Martha bites her lip, watching John closely for his reaction. For a moment, he says nothing, just rocks back and forth, eyes on the floor and hands in his pockets as he tries to process the information. He looks up at her again. “How come?”

“Okay… there’s no easy way for me to say this.” Martha takes a deep breath.  
“I’m not straight. I’m a lesbian, John.”

“Oh! Okay…”

“You’re handling this surprisingly well.”

“Well, if I’m gay I guess it’s only fair that my wife is, too."

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, of course, but I’m just surprised is all.”

“Thank you so much, John!” says Martha, relief on her face as she takes his hands in hers, then lets go and pulls him into a hug, albeit a stiff one.

John is still too numb to react. Martha quickly lets go of him.

“I mean, you think you know someone, and then one day your wife just tells you ‘hey, by the way, Not Straight'.” He tries to keep it lighthearted, but Martha just rolls her eyes.

“It’s not so surprising. You know how when you first met me you thought you were straight?”

He nods.

“But looking back on it now you realize you very much weren’t?”

“Martha, does this story have a point—“

She shushes him. “I’m getting there. Just… Imagine the same thing for me, only several years later.”

“But is that the whole reason why you want a divorce?”

“Sort of… There’s this person I’ve been seeing for a while now."

John nods. “I see.”

“I really love her.” She blushes, looking away shyly. "I’m… I'm going to propose to her, John. I think she might be the one.”

“And you’re sure about this?”

“Well, no, but I think it’s worth giving a shot, don’t you?”

“Yeah… So who’s this mystery woman?” He smiles—weakly, but he’s trying to be positive for her.

Martha's face lights up at the mention, her entire body language shifting so that it’s more upright. “Oh, she’s terrific. More so a mystery person though—Her name is Peggy, I think you’d really like her. She lives not far from your building, actually.”

John blinks, positive he must have misheard.

“I’m sorry, you said her name was _what_?”

“Peggy.” Martha grabs her jacket from the coatrack, looking back at him as she makes her way over to the door. She smiles, seemingly oblivious to John’s shock. "I’ll have to introduce you sometime, although I explained our situation to her, and she says she may have met you before, isn’t that funny? Well, I’m sorry to cut this chat short, but I’m afraid I’ve gotta run. You can let yourself out when you’re ready. Love you!”

With that, Martha leaves John standing by himself in the dressing room—still in a state of shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned "The One with Phoebe's Wife" so I figured why not? Also, I figured it was about time we learned about Peggy's Secret Girlfriend.  
> Sorry this is not as funny as that episode. I tried to balance it out with some lightheartedness early in the chapter but we will get back to our shenanigans next update I swear.
> 
> But hey, at least now you're all privy to Thomas Jefferson's Secret Shame.
> 
> ... I need validation so feedback would be appreciated.


	5. The One with the Evil Orthodonist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long to update. Honestly, I was considering abandoning it all together, but I decided to pick this up again.
> 
> Alternate name for this chapter: The One That's Proof That James Madison Has a Life Outside of Being Thomas Jefferson's Lackey. I felt like my characterization of him was steering too far in that direction, which is the opposite of what I want, because I'm frustratingly fond of (the musical's iteration of) Madison.
> 
> Honestly this title might be more appropriate b/c Jaques and Barry don't really compare for evil orthodontists.

Getting James Madison to talk at length about anything is a skill few people possess. Getting James to talk at length about his love life in particular is more than a skill, it’s a art form that even fewer people have mastered.

James walks into Central Perk and takes a seat on the sofa beside Eliza.

“So how did your date go last night?” Aaron asks him, sitting up in his armchair.

This definitely catches everyone’s interest. They’re waiting for Theodosia to return from her visit with her former fiancé, Jaques, but all thoughts of Theo are disrupted by this new bit of information.

James glares at him momentarily before trying his best to shrug it off. “It was fine,” he says, his voice low.

It’s not enough to keep everyone at bay.

“ _A date?_ ” exclaims Thomas, and when this receives a reaction of several turned heads and a stern glare from Washington from the counter, he lowers his voice to a whisper. “A date?” he asks again.

“How wonderful!—“ says Eliza, but she’s cut off by Thomas, who is clearly long from being finished.

“How come I didn’t know about this?” He quickly moves from his chair and over to where James is sitting, forcing himself between James and Eliza without a second thought. “Who is she? How did it go? Tell me everything!”

“Hey, has anyone heard the one about the skeleton who went to the party?” asks James in a desperate attempt to change the subject. He begins to sweat.

“Her name is Dolley. I set them up,” Aaron replies to Thomas as he leans forward in his chair, ignoring James.

“Hang on a second.” Thomas holds out a hand dramatically as if to pause the conversation. “Let me get this straight. Not only did Burr know about this date that you were on before I did, but you let him set you up?” he asks, his voice indignant.

James nods slightly.

“Thomas—“ begins Angelica, either in comfort or in warning, James can’t tell, but Thomas doesn’t let her finish.

“Don’t ’Thomas’ me, Angie.” Addressing James again, he adds, “You never let me set you up with anyone, and all of a sudden you’re ok with letting _Aaron_ do it?”

“Because we all know how well it went the first time you tried to set me up with someone,” mutters James.

He doesn’t usually like to bring up Kitty Floyd, as she’s a bit of a sore spot, but it feels appropriate in the moment.

“Actually, no, we don’t because you refuse to talk about it whenever I ask, and you refuse to let me fix it.”

“Yeah, what happened the first time?” asks Alexander eagerly, speaking up for the first time at his chair across the table from Angelica’s.

“Alexander, please,” is all he can say, and with all the eyes on him James wishes he could sink into the sofa. "There's nothing to fix, Thomas," says James, voice still low.

“Is there anything else I should know?” asks Thomas, arms folded as he looks at James expectantly. “Any other secrets you’ve been keeping from me?”

“Thomas, don’t be ridiculous,” mutters James, avoiding his gaze.

“Well, how would I know? Do you have a secret wife, too? Do you want us to be strangers to each other? Is that what you want, James? You don't want us to become like John and Alexander, do you?”

It’s rare that James sees Thomas so riled up and anxious. It surprises him less that somehow he still manages to slip in jabs at Hamilton’s expense.

“What, no!” says James, and upon realizing what that sounds like, he corrects himself. “I mean, no- no I absolutely do not have a secret wife, Thomas.” His cheeks are burning.

Alexander, who had tensed up at Thomas’ words and looks ready to go to war, relaxes just a bit from where he’s sitting.

“I’ll tell you about the date, but you have to promise to relax.”

Thomas sinks back into the couch, arms, still crossed and fists clenched tight, with a tight grin on his face. “Fine. I’m cool. Everything’s cool.”

James is less than reassured but he continues. “Her name is Dolley Payne. Nothing happened, we just went out to dinner and talked.”

“This is so exciting!” says Thomas, clapping his hands together in delight. He's about as close to squealing as a grown man can be. “I’m so happy for you!”

“See, this is why I don’t tell you things, you get like this,” mumbles James but he has a small smile.

“So, what is she like?” prompts Thomas, eyes wide with newfound interest.

“Honestly… she’s pretty great,” he says, unable to help the dopey grin on his face.

“Really? That’s it?” asks Aaron, barest trace of a grin on his face. “After all that trouble I went through for you, ‘she’s pretty great’?”

James shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell. We just talked. I think we really connected. We could totally be ourselves, you know how much I hate games.”

Alexander feigns a yawn. “Booooooring.”

“Well, I think it’s sweet,” says Eliza, looking over at Alex and giving him a challenging look before turning back to smile encouragingly at James. “It sounds like you had a really good time, and I’m really happy for you. Have you called her yet?”

To Eliza’s surprise, he scoffs almost instantly. “And let her know that I like her? What, are you insane?”

Burr stifles a laugh. Eliza and Angelica roll their eyes in disgust.

“I think Thomas’ influence has rubbed off on you more than you realize,” says Angelica with a grimace as she sets down her coffee.

“It’s the next day, I don’t want to sound needy or annoying,” says James, sounding much more like his regular, albeit much more anxious self. He looks around expectantly. “You guys think I’m making the right move, don’t you?”

“Sure, let her dangle,” says Thomas.

Aaron nods.

“That’s horrible,” says Eliza.

Angelica groans. “Don’t fill his head with ideas. I can’t believe my parents are pressuring me to find one of you people.”

“Why don’t you just call her right now?” asks Eliza.

“I would, but I don’t have my phone with me.”

Among other reasons.

“Oh, I do!” says Alexander, pulling out his phone and passing it over to James.

“Great…” says James less than enthusiastically as he takes the phone from Alex. “But unfortunately her number is in my phone.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day because I happen to have her number, too,” says Aaron, James sighs as he resigns himself to the situation at hand.

Alex and Aaron wait expectantly, each with a smug grin on their faces, and James shoots them both an irritated glance as he dials her number. He waits momentarily, as everyone watches him as if waiting for his date to pick up the line is the most entertaining thing in the world. Suddenly, his eyes go wide and he quickly hangs up the phone.

“What is it?” asks Aaron.

“Her machine picked up.”

“Ok, so why didn’t you say anything?” asks Eliza, and he can tell she’s suppressing an amused smile.

Before James can answer himself, Thomas laughs. “Oh no, bad idea. Give him enough time, and he can say anything, but James gets really nervous when put on the spot. Last time he left a spontaneous message for someone he ended up using the phrase ‘yes, indeedio’.”

Eliza snorts.

Aaron speaks up. “You should’ve seen him when he and Dolley first met. Wouldn’t even talk to her, had to have me go and introduce her.”

Everyone is laughing when Angelica quickly shushes everyone. “Quiet! Outside, it’s Theodosia and Jaques!”

They all turn to look, but Angie quickly chastises them. “No! Not all at once.”

Everyone turns back so that the only person still looking is Eliza. Even then, she keeps her head turned slightly so that she can see them in the periphery of her vision.

Gaze still averted, Aaron asks Eliza what is going on.

“They’re just talking.”

“Well, how does he look? Does he look upset? Like he was told to shove anything?” he asks, with a surprising amount of apprehension in his voice.

“No, actually he’s smiling. Oh no, don’t do that!”

“What, what?”

“That man across the street just kicked that pigeon!” says Eliza, frowning and pointing outside.

Aaron sighs.

Theo walks in, smile on her face and a faraway look in her eye.

“How’d it go?” asks Angelica.

“Good. Actually, great. We had a really great time.”

“Really?” asks Angelica with a dubious expression, getting up to stand beside Theodosia. “Same guy you left at the altar?”

“I know, but it was just so nice to see him again. It was comfortable and familiar, and it was just nice.”

“That’s 'nice' twice," says Aaron, plastered smile on his face. Aaron is a master at the fake smile, but it comes across as unusually forced.

“It was different this time. He wasn’t as boring as before. I mean, we had fun, is there anything wrong with that?”

“Yes!” chirps Alex abruptly, uncharacteristically, but James catches that it's in response to Aaron trying to discreetly smack Alexander in the shoulder.

“Why?” asks Theo, one eyebrow raised.

“I-I have my reasons,” stutters out Alex.

Angelica scoffs, and Theodosia rolls her eyes and grins. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, Alex, but I appreciate your concern for me.” She walks over to him, leans over and kisses him on the cheek. “I know I can’t keep this up forever. Next time I see him, I will for sure put an end to it.”

Aaron's eyes look ready to bug out of their skull.

—  
The second time they’re waiting for Theodosia to return, everyone is hanging out in the Schuyler apartment. John, Lafayette, and Hercules are off work, and Peggy is back after spending the day with Martha.

And James is finally about to call.

“H-hello Dolley, I wasn’t expecting the machine, giving me a call when you get a chance.” He jingles his keys around for a moment. “Bye.” He hurriedly hangs up the phone and breathes a huge sigh of relief, head in his hands.

“That’s what you’ve been working on for the past two hours?” asks Peggy staring at him from their chair at the kitchen table, one eyebrow raised in incredulity.

James just nods.

“What was with the keys?” asks Burr.

“Well, he has to make it sound like he has some sort of life beyond spending two hours to script a single phone call,” says Alexander with a smirk.

“That’s rich coming from you,” mutters James, but either Alex doesn’t hear, or he ignores it.

—

James is still waiting for her to call back when Theodosia finally turns up, much later than anticipated.

"Ring," he says to the phone, staring stubbornly at it. Thomas snickers to himself.

When Peggy asks Theo how it went she just gives an evasive “pretty good” and heads over to the fridge to grab a drink.

James is still staring intently at the phone, which is sitting on the coffee table beside the couch, as if by staring hard enough he can somehow will it to ring.

“Really?”

James can see in Peggy look at her in disbelief in his peripheral vision, standing up so that they can talk to her in the kitchen. His eyes flicker up to look at them then back at the phone. In that moment he looks up, he can see Peggy scrutinize her more closely. “Theo?”

“Mhm?”

“Why do you have dental floss in your hair?”

He's staring at the phone, trying hard not to overhear, but his curiosity is piqued.

_Ring damnit._

“Oh, do I?” Theodosia fishes through her hair and comes up with a white line. “Huh.” Eyeing the room to make sure the others are not paying attention, she leans in and mumbles something indiscernible to Peggy.

“You ended up having sex in his chair!" exclaims Peggy way too loudly, and Theo literally facepalms as now more than just James' interest has been piqued as everyone instantly turns to stare.

"Y-you what?" stutters Aaron.

Usually so careful and composed, James has detected a surprising pattern developing where Theodosia time and time again leaves Burr an incoherent mess.

(A shameful part of him enjoys watching Aaron struggle helplessly for words.)

"Sex in his chair," repeats Eliza, emphasizing the words carefully and precisely for him.

Aaron shakes his head. "I-I have to go." He stands up and heads for the door.

"Where?" asks Eliza.

Aaron pauses in the doorway. "Out. I have a very busy schedule that I have to keep up with." His voice is higher than usual.

He slams the door behind him.

Alexander sighs, getting up from the armchair. “I gotta go, too.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Eliza frowns.

“Yeah, I have a lot of work on a case I still need to do.” Alex pulls her into a hug, murmuring something in her ear, too low to overhear. When they let go she gives him a look and nods understandingly.

Peggy is still talking to Theodosia but James ignores this in lieu of going back to staring at his phone.

—

Burr is still in the hall and is heading down the stairs when Alex leaves the apartment just a few moments later.

“Hey, Aaron, wait up.”

“Alexander?” He turns around to look at him. “What are you doing here?”

Burr climbs back up the stairs so that they’re standing in the hallway together.

Alex ignores the question. “You know, if you like this girl so much, you should go for it.

He scoffs. “Like her? Don’t be ridiculous.”

Alex gave him a look. "Could’ve fooled me. Anyways from what I’ve seen, she really seems to like you, too. Although I can’t imagine why.”

“Thanks,” says Burr with a thin smile. “Yeah, it really seemed like it when she slept with her ex-fiance,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes, how dare she still have feelings for the guy she almost married,” says Alexander dryly. "Especially since you've expressed no interest in her, and, therefore, she has no obligation to you." He sighs. “Anyways, I know it’s not really your thing, but I just thought I’d tell you to get your head out of your ass and go get her."

Aaron shakes his head. “It’s too soon. I mean, you said it yourself, she just got out of a relationship.”

“Alright, suit yourself. But if you wait too long to do anything, you might miss your shot.” He puts his hands up and shrugs in resignation.

Aaron rolls his eyes, turning back towards the stairs to go. “I’ll see you at work, Alexander.”

“You, too, Burr.”

—

“Ring, damnit.”

Everyone else has long since gone home. James stares at the phone sitting in the middle of the girls’ kitchen table.

“Why hasn’t she called?”

“You could text her,” suggests Eliza.

“I don’t know. Isn’t that a little adolescent?”

“Not at all!”

James shakes his head.

Angelica rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you just call her?”

James frowns up at her. “I can’t.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course you can!” says Eliza. “Is this an anxiety thing I’m not getting?”

“No. Ok, maybe a little. I left a message, ok? I have some pride."

“Really?” asks Eliza.

“No.”

James snatches up the phone and dials her number.

“Dolley? H-hi, it’s James… Oh, I’m fine… N-no, I totally understand!… Great! Great! Okay. “ He hangs up.

“So?” asks Eliza, standing up and looking at him expectantly.

“What’d she say?” asks a a drowsy Thomas from the couch.

“Her phone died. That’s why she didn’t call me back.”

“That’s great!” says Eliza.

“I knew you didn’t have anything to worry about!” says Thomas, quickly hoisting himself up off the couch and practically bouncing over in enthusiasm. “And why would you, you’re specimen!"

James chuckles at this. “Guess so.”

“So, are you going to see her again?” asks Angie.

He’s still staring at Thomas—who is still beaming at him affectionately—before he snaps out of his reverie and shakes his head, shrugging. “Maybe.”

“Really? After all that? ‘Maybe’?” Angelica shakes her head in disbelief. “Men."

“Well, how come?” asks Thomas, pouting.

James shrugs.

Not even Thomas Jefferson has quite mastered the ability to get James Madison to talk about his love life.

—

The next night, Aaron is over at Peggy and Theodosia’s apartment when she tells them the news.

“So, I ended it with Jaques,” says Theo, looking at both of them hesitantly. “For good this time. I gave him back the ring. Told him it was time for both of us to move on.”

“Really?” asks Burr, leaning forward in his armchair.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” asks Peggy. “Are you okay?”

Theodosia nods. “I’ll be fine.” She sighs.

Peggy smiles. “That’s good. I’m happy for you.” They pull Theodosia into a tight hug before standing up. “Well, I’m heading off to bed. Aaron, you can see yourself out.”

“Don’t I, always?” he says with an affectionate smile before Peggy smiles back briefly, then disappears into their bedroom.

They sit in silence for a few moments.

Theodosia is the first to speak.

“You know, ever since I ran out on him at the wedding, I've wondering if I made the right choice,” she pondered.

“And?”

He watches her with piqued interest. She has a slight smile on her face. She’s disheveled still frustratingly gorgeous, even wrapped in a blanket and wearing her pajamas.

“And now… I feel like it was.”

He nods.

"I mean really," she adds. "That man is satan in a smock."

He laughs quietly. Maybe now isn’t the best time to bring it up, but he can’t help but think about what Alexander told him. About taking shots. “You probably didn’t know this, but back in high school, I had a… a pretty big crush on you.”

He’s looking down at his hands, absentmindedly examining his nails. Avoiding eye contact is the only way for him to be able to get the words out at all.

“I knew.”

“Really? I always figured you always thought I was just this geeky little girl.”

“I did.”

Glancing up at her, he can see she’s smiling fondly at him. It’s an easy smile that for all intents and purposes should set him at ease, but for some reason something about Theodosia has always made his stomach knot. It’s almost as if he really is back in high school.

How juvenile.

He goes back to looking back down at his hands.

“Theodosia?” he asks, still not looking at her.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think it would be ok if I asked you out sometime, maybe?” he asks as he stares at his hands, but at the end of the sentence he finally steels himself to make eye contact again.

Her smile widens. “Maybe. I’d like that.”

He gulps. “Ok. Maybe I will.” He manages a small smile at her.

Theodosia laughs gently. “Goodnight, Aaron.” She stands up from couch, and briefly resting a hand to his knee before removing it and quickly heading over to her bedroom.

He sighs. “Goodnight, Theodosia.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you thought I was gonna at least address the Peggy/Martha thing, didn't you? Well, that's for a later installment my dudes. It will happen. Most likely if I get feedback b/c i thrive of validation and also fair criticism.
> 
> Also, if you were confused about that last bit, yes, Burr is a trans man. I was considering going in that direction, and I finally decided to do it.
> 
> I have so many ships in this fic I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.


End file.
